These servicemembers are not marking the third anniversary of Russia’s full-scale invasion on the front lines but are instead trying to reintegrate into civilian life after years spent in dugouts and trenches.
Former members of the Ukrainian Armed Forces (AFU) who resigned from service for various reasons told Kyiv Post that they remain proud of their decision to stand up for Ukraine’s defense three years ago – and, if necessary, would return to the front without hesitation.
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Ihor Zhaloba, callsign “Batko” (Father) – professor, former soldier: “None of us left the war; we stay there one way or another.”
After being discharged from the AFU, Doctor of Historical Sciences Ihor Zhaloba returned to teaching at the Institute of History of the National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine. He also frequently lectures in Germany and Austria, raising awareness about the war and honoring his comrades at various events in support of Ukraine.
“I do not regret for a second what I did on Feb. 25, 2022. And if I have to, I will go again without hesitation. I am proud of these two years, proud of my comrades, and proud of what we have done.”
In every presentation to international audiences, Batko says that those who volunteered to defend Ukraine in the early days of the full-scale invasion – despite now being out of service – have not truly left the war.
Three Years of War: A Void to Fill
“None of us left it. We remain there in our thoughts one way or another. We are working toward it, we are following.”
Batko recalls speaking in Kempten, Germany, last May. Before his speech, he reached out to a comrade still serving with the AFU and asked, “What do you want me to say? What message do you want me to convey from the front?” His comrade replied: “Batko, I am in a different reality.”
“And I caught myself thinking: Yes, we were in one reality at the front, in another reality in the Ukrainian rear, and in Europe, there is yet another reality,” Batko told Kyiv Post.
In his view, both the European and Ukrainian home fronts share a common issue: Many people do not fully understand what is happening. A large number still wish to return to the way things were before Feb. 24, 2022. “It will not be like that anymore,” he says.
“And my task now, as a demobilized soldier, is to bridge these two realities – the European and our rear – to the needs of the reality where the guys are at the front,” says Batko. “That is, everything is for the front, everything is for victory. That is what I am doing now, and it is my number one priority.”
Vadym “Sonik” Feshchenko, former mortarman and drone operator: “I am ready to continue fighting and risk everything.”
Sonik tells Kyiv Post that after being discharged from the AFU, he “rested” at home for about a month. However, in reality he worked as a freelancer, designing stadium stands – his civilian profession is civil engineering. He also assembled a batch of FPV drones for his comrades.
“Then I went for an interview at my previous workplace, where they were already expecting me for the position of deputy director. I have been working there ever since,” he says.
According to Sonik, adjusting to civilian work was difficult at first, as his perspective on responsibility, work ethic, and priorities had changed significantly after his time in the army.
“I often felt it was unfair – while I was fighting, other healthy men my age used that time for personal growth and well-being. But I am convinced that sooner or later, everyone will have to fight, and social justice will balance everything out,” he says.
Sonik admits that he often questioned whether resigning from the AFU was the right decision.
“The brotherly bonds I formed in the army, especially under the conditions of mortal danger, constantly made me feel guilty. Friendly jokes sometimes felt like bitter insults.”
He tells Kyiv Post that he frequently feels the urge to return to the war – whether as infantry or even an assault fighter.
“From time to time, I have dreams filled with scenes of violence – either violence I commit or violence committed against me – as if I am experiencing the last moments of my life in the dream…”
However, he says his future has become clearer, as his family gives him a reason to focus on life rather than “making a final sacrifice.”
“The greatest challenge turned out to be living and working every day – it is a much harder task,” says the ex-soldier.
Sonik adds that as he settled back into civilian life, it became easier for him to envision the next ten years, and he now thinks less about “social injustice and instability in the country.”
“In February 2022, I made a conscious choice for which I am not ashamed. And if necessary, I am ready to continue fighting and risk everything. I have no intention of changing my citizenship – though many of my friends who are still fighting have expressed a desire to do so after demobilization,” he told Kyiv Post.
Dmytro “Ivich”’ Verbych, Donetsk Airport defender: “After this sh*t, a veteran should go to the forest and see less of this f***ing society.”
Dmytro Verbych, author of Point of No Return – a book about the Russo-Ukrainian war and the battles of 2014-2015 – returned to defend Ukraine after the full-scale invasion. He fought in the defense of the Kyiv region and later took part in the Kharkiv counteroffensive.
“In general, I believe that any normal veteran, after all this sh*t, should go somewhere to the forest, live in a hut, and see less of this f***ing society. Get yourself a good dog, something like that, you know – sit by the fireplace, smoke a pipe,” he told Kyiv Post.
The Ukrainian war veteran Dmytro “Ivich” Verbych. (Photo provided to Kyiv Post by Verbych)
Verbych says he has struggled with mental health issues and a sense of injustice. “And for citizens who were not in the combat zone but allow themselves to make judgments on this topic – I want to hit them on the head, hurt them, goats,” he said.
Despite these challenges, Verbych says he had no trouble finding work after demobilization. However, he doesn’t see his own experience as representative of the general situation.
“As for state assistance for veterans, I didn’t receive anything because I didn’t ask for anything. I know acquaintances who got grants for business development – something is working there, it’s all real. And thank God,” he added.
Asked if he would make the same choice again, Verbych didn’t hesitate:
“If I could turn back time, would I go to the front again? I would go, of course. Because 2022, and 2023 – were wonderful years of my life. No matter how scary it was there, I would definitely go.”
Looking ahead, Verbych says Ukraine’s future will depend entirely on how the war ends.
“The war may end in such a way that we’ll have to pack up, learn Spanish quickly, and go live in South America. Everything could turn out very differently,” he said.
Anatoliy “Lytsar” (Knight) Musienko, ex-soldier of the 58th Separate Motorized Infantry Brigade: “It still pulls you back – in war, you find meaning.”
In a conversation with Kyiv Post, Musienko tries to describe his life as a civilian.
“If you put it simply – it’s incomprehensible. Those who fought no longer belong to this world. We don’t understand it, and it wants to reject us, like a virus,” he says.
According to Musienko, daily habits have changed significantly because soldiers become accustomed to danger and instinctively react to it.
“This has affected both my everyday life and my attitude toward things. Our goals, our values – all of this is very different from what people are used to here, in the rear,” he says.
“It creates some communication difficulties – like when someone tells me about a new phone they want, and I think, why on Earth am I talking about this right now?”
After resigning from the AFU, Musienko says he received no support from the state. However, he attributes this to not actively seeking out the structures meant to assist veterans.
“My wife always tells me I need to see psychologists or visit veteran hubs. For her, that’s a way out… But not for me.”
Musienko acknowledges experiencing symptoms of PTSD.
“When doors slam, I flinch a little. I wouldn’t say I was directly under such heavy shelling that my psychological state changed completely – I wasn’t in the infantry. But there are still some effects. I don’t like loud sounds, people shouting nearby, or doors slamming.”
Despite the dangers, he admits he still feels the pull to return to the front.
“In war, among comrades, there is more honesty and truth. There, you find meaning. That’s why you want to go back – to do what you’re used to, to do things that, in your understanding, have truth, meaning, and purpose.”
He adds that this perspective influences how he views potential civilian work. Having seen things from the height of this understanding, he now questions what meaning civilian work will hold – not just for the country as a whole, but for him as an individual.
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